Saturday, September 22, 2012

Forever Family Day!

As Tyson mentioned, Monday August 27 was our Forever Family Day!

I barely slept the night before.
I was so nervous and excited, but mostly I was worried about Nola's little heart.
I didn't want her to be afraid of all the changes that were coming her way.

We couldn't get through all the paperwork and red tape fast enough for me!
Our guide, Alice, kept telling me "Soon.  Soon you will have your daughter and she will be yours forever."
Alice took us downstairs to pay some fees in the office,
and when we were down there, we saw a couple of the babies wandering the hallway!
We even rode up in the elevator with one of them!
It was so exciting to see all of these families coming together at once!
(Besides us, there were 4 other families in the room.  We were crammed into a tiny little conference room that was filled with tables and was about 145 degrees!)

When Nola came in the room, I felt my heart leave my chest for the third time in my life.
She was so incredibly beautiful and so small.  Even more so than in the pictures I have of her.
More than I dreamed she would be.
Her skin was so soft.
She had been bathed right before she came, she even still had baby powder in the folds of her neck.
She smelled incredible.
She had on a purple romper that was a little too big, with yellow socks and pink shoes.
I will keep them forever.

I slowly approached her.
I didn't want to freak her out, she already looked so scared.
I greeted her and her nanny began explaining to her that I was Mama.
Those beautiful brown eyes watched me intently while sticking close to the familiarity of her nanny.
I offered her a lollipop, which she took apprehensively.
I tried coaxing her to come to me, but she cried and cowered to the nanny each time I touched her.
(Inside, I wanted to snatch her up, hug her and run out of that building!)
She threw the lollipop at me the second time I touched her arm.
So I offered her Cheerios!
She took them from me, and even began to feed me some.
The whole time the nanny was trying to get her to come to me and telling her who each of us were.
I tried everything I had--food, toys, etc, and still she wouldn't budge.

After about 20 minutes, Alice said to me "She is going to cry but you are going to have to pick her up."
That's not how it was supposed to happen!!!
I REALLY didn't want to upset her.
So, I picked her up, and she went ballistic.


I tried to comfort her, but she was too upset.
Alice stood next to us and spoke to her softly in Shanghainese, and after a few minutes she calmed down.
During this time, her nanny went and hid under the table because Nola was looking for her.  At some point she snuck out of the room.
Once Nola calmed down, she was a bit lethargic from being so upset.  She was hot and sweaty.
But she looked at me like she knew she was going to be OK.
And she will.

As we left the Child Welfare Office, the nanny was sitting in the hallway.
She saw us, and quickly scurried away so Nola didn't see her and get upset again.
I asked Alice to please thank her for us and assure her that we will take good care of Nola.
Alice went and told her, and when she came back she told me the nanny was crying.

The joy of adoption does not come without great loss.

We left the building quickly and got in the van to go back to the hotel.
In the van, Nola was still a little reserved, but was playful.
We even got a few smiles!


Janice Walker said...

Hi! I just found your blog tonight! Your daughter is so so beautiful! Loved reading your story. We were on the same time line as you but your process was faster ;) We are waiting on TA now :)

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