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Monday, February 28, 2011

Faith

When I decided to start this blog I promised myself I would keep it real.  I want to chronicle this adoption journey honestly as it happens and that includes the good, the bad and the ugly.  One thing I have consistenly read is that adoption is not for the weak, and I am finding that to be very true already!  However, I am also finding that it is difficult to be strong. 

At least once every few days I have a complete meltdown full of worry and doubt.  I worry over everything from "will we be matched with the right child" to "how will we EVER raise enough funds?" and everything else in between.  Any given day can be any combination of worries or none at all.  But my biggest worry is raising enough funds.  Some people think that just because my husband has a good job we should just be able to afford adoption.  Affording to raise another child is one thing, affording the Adoption Fees is quite another!  Approximately 85% of adopting families have to to some sort of fundraising.  It is quite frustrating since there are SO many kids who need homes and SO many families with enough love to give them yet the fees often deter people from even trying to bring kids home.  It's sad.

So today I am in full blown panic mode over paying for the adoption!  Tyson and my mom keep telling me to just "let go and let God".  But on days like today that feels easier said than done.  I am trying to learn to step out in faith and it's a hard lesson for me.  I am the person who needs to know when things are going to happen, how the outcome will be, and then I'm fine.  The unknown is uncomfortable.  And it's hard.

But I am trying.

 And I guess it's no accident that I sat down at the computer to look up some articles on attachment and at the top of the very first webpage I found was:


"Do not be afraid, for I am with you;
I will bring your children from the East and
gather you from the West.  I will say to the North,
'Give them up!' and to the South,
'Do not hold them back.'
Bring my sons from afar and my daughters
from the ends of the Earth."
-Isaiah 43:5-6


So for today I will take comfort in that. 

2 comments:

Kathy said...

That is God speaking directly to you. If you look hard enough he will speak to you dailey. Prayer is when you talk to GOD and meditation is when you listen to God.

Princess D said...

I know this is almost a year old post, but as I'm just now reading it ;)...I totally feel you on this!!!

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